Susieboldt's Blog

Random Comments from a Dreamer

An Inspiration

I just finished reading a wonderful children’s book, a classic I might add: “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. I had never read it before, and the only reason that I read it now was because I needed to for one of my literature classes. I am so very glad the professor chose that book in particular to represent children’s literature. It’s great! Filled with funny sentences and wonderful phrases! It’s much less detailed than the movie with Johnny Depp, which I found very odd. Usually, the book is the detailed one, but in this case, the movie is more detailed.

I’m writing a blog about this because I am just so inspired by it! You know how when you come across something that just fascinates you to the very core? Well this book does it for me. And maybe it does so because I had the pleasure of watching the Johnny Depp version first and reading the book afterwards. Now, you’re thinking…uh…Susie don’t you have it backwards? Don’t people usually like to read the book first and then watch the movie? Not in this case my friends, not in this case. Every time I came to one of the Oompa-Loompas’ songs I began to sing them in my head. It was a fun experience that I would not have had if I had read the book first. Anyways, back to being inspired. I want to be a writer, a young-adult writer, in particular, and through reading such a magnificent book I feel as though nothing is more pressing at this moment than to write. I’m inspired to write funny sentences and wonderful phrases just like Roald Dahl. I was texting my husband while reading this book, trying to convince him of something, and he, being utterly stubborn, kept refusing my proposal. I found myself writing my texts as Roald Dahl writes his sentences. Short, sweet, and completely quirky. For example, I texted,

“O alright u gas waster, ur as stubborn as I am! I thought that was an impossible feat! Stubborn as a mule, I dare say!”

I practically broke out in rhyme! If I had had the space in my limited 40 characters of texting space, I would have! By the way, it’s not important why I am calling him a gas waster, what’s important is that every time you see him (for those of you who know him) that you call him a gas waster, and stubborn as a mule.

I just found it interesting, how even now as I write, I feel like breaking into song and rhyme like the Oompa-Loompas. It’s like we’re keeping something very special and precious alive when something we love translates from its’ source into our lives.

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January 28, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Equality

I have gone completely berserk. No really, I have. I’ve suddenly become obsessed with the idea of equality. Equality in absolutely every sense.

I’m supposed to do a presentation on Thursday, my first university presentation actually, and I’ve come upon a problem. You see, so far around six people have presented, and they all did just mediocre. It’s a five minute presentation, yet everyone who’s gone has only presented for 2-4 minutes. Also, people brought along pictures and distributed them to us classmates. This is the extent of the quality of these presentations. I have some great ideas for my presentation, visual aids to be exact, but here’s where the problem of equality rises. You see, I need to remain equal with my classmates. If they make a mediocre presentation, than so must I. So, I will not be using the idea of making over-head transparencies instead of regular printed pictures. Nope, I won’t be doing this because that would make me seem “better” than my classmates. They would think of me as brown nosing.

Isn’t that pathetic? University is steeped in competition, and yet here I am, unable to rise above the bars that have been set. I could be the bar raiser. I know I could because I have confidence in myself, but yet the need for equality takes over, and I become stuck. I don’t want people looking at me as the class brown-noser. I feel this strongly towards all types of equality, men equal to women, all races equal, everything equal. If fact, I think I’m so obsessed over the issue of equality that I’ve become a communist. In a good way, not in a Hitler way. Communist in the sense where everyone lives equally and money is distributed equally. I know that this kind of equality (communist equality) can never work because of many difficult issues, but that’s just how obsessed I’ve become.

I never used to be this way. I used to be the bar raiser, and now I seem to be the one who keeps the bar the way it is, the way it’s been set.

January 27, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

A Fear of Clowns

If you’ve been keeping up with my blog at all, you’ll know how much I love to talk about commercials. Maybe they interest me because at one point in time in my life I wanted to get into advertising. After understanding how much advertising negatively influences people, I decided against it. It would be too hard to find a decent, moral advertising company around this area.

Anyways, since it’s the weekend and weekends are for relaxing, I’ve decided to post a small blog and a funny commercial. This way you don’t have to read a lot, and you get to see a great commercial!

I’ll show you the commercial first, so enjoy it, I certainly did!

Okay, so now that you’ve seen this commercial, I feel the need to address the topic of being scared of clowns, also known as: Coulrophobia. It’s an irrational fear in my mind, but that’s probably because I’ve never had a scarring experience with one. Clowns are funny, entertaining people playing dress up…what’s to be afraid of? Of course, if I were ever presented with such a clown as in the commercial, it wouldn’t take me long before I’d have a healthy dose of clown fear in me! I’m not trying to make all you clown-fearers seem like babies; in fact I’m actually afraid of glass dolls…which is kind of like clowns…but not really. Hopefully, after this commercial you don’t become afraid of clowns…if you do…I apologize.

January 23, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

The Day of Signs

Yesterday was a day of signs.

Within a matter of only 24 hours I had been presented with four signs urging me to have babies. Well, maybe ‘urging’ isn’t the right word, but that’s what it felt like to me. Every time I would come into contact with a sign I would get all emotional and motherly, making me feel as though I was being urged by an unknown force, (probably God), to have babies. Now four signs may not seem like a lot to you faithful blog readers, but it was…it really was.

Sign #1 occurred first thing in the morning. I was driving to my friend’s house while mentally preparing myself for another long ride to Windsor when I noticed that the radio had been turned down all the way. I cranked the volume knob and tuned in to one of my favourite stations, (I’d tell you which one, but I have it in my presets and so I don’t know the name of it), and listened intently to what the radio hosts were saying. They were talking about women who just really didn’t want to have babies, until that is, they ended up having a baby anyways, and their whole world changed. A woman came on to the radio to give her story. She said that at first she was one of those women who had gotten pregnant accidentally, and she didn’t want to have the baby at all. And every time a friend or stranger would congratulate her she would sneer at them with eyes filled with hatred. But then, after the doctor placed that crying bundle into her arms, she said that her whole world became that baby, and she couldn’t imagine life without it. It was beautiful and inspiring, and most definitely tear-jerking. That was my first sign urging me to have a baby.

Sign #2 happened in my psychology class. The very first chapter that my professor decided to have us start on just happened to be about babies and their development. Perfect, just what I needed, more babies. To make matters more ‘urgent’ on my instinctual motherly vibes was a twenty minute video about starving babies in an orphanage in Romania. They need parents, and the video was tailing the development of a few of those children who had been adopted. These kids that were fortunate enough to be adopted now had cozy homes and loving parents, and more than anything I wanted to be one of those parents…the video make me cry a little.

Sign #3 included me walking to the library on campus and running smack dab into a conversation happening in the middle of the walkway.

“Awww, I wish I had a baby around all the time. All I have are nephews and nieces….you’re sooo lucky!”

“Yeah, it’s so great. He’s sooo cute, and he’s my life, you know?”

I then decided then to walk a little faster. How could this be? I was being bombarded with babies!

Sign #4 occurred today. I opened the Windsor Star newspaper only to find dozens of smiling babies crying out, “Susie, have a baby! Susie, have a baby!” Well, no, they weren’t saying that because they were pictures, and pictures don’t talk. But, if they could talk, that’s what they would have said. It was one of those showcase inserts that the Windsor Star publishes every so often…maybe too often…

I’m almost afraid to step outside today. With my luck I wouldn’t be surprised if it started to snow babies!

January 20, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

A Weird Feeling

Natural disasters make me feel weird.

I just don’t seem to know how to respond when I hear news of natural disasters claiming the lives of thousands of people. I feel the regular feelings like pity and sadness, but I also feel guilt…lots and lots of guilt. I have never been in a natural disaster, or ever near a natural disaster, and so when I hear of people in such a horrible situation such as Haiti’s, I feel guilty. Why do those people, who already suffer through poverty, have to deal with a 7.0 earthquake? Why is it that I live such a comfortable life in comparison to millions of people?  I know that these are unanswerable questions, but it would be a lie to say that they don’t run through my head constantly.

I can’t even remember the last big storm we had here in this area, and I think that I would be too embarrassed to even google it. It would be absolutely minuscule and insignificant compared to the earthquake that damaged Haiti, that’s for certain.

I don’t even like to read about natural disasters. I know that it sounds horrible, but it’s the truth. I avoid newspapers and only read the small captions written in bold when I first open up my internet explorer. I do this because I know that I can’t help. I can’t physically be there to save lives and offer aid. I can only sit here and type this, knowing full well that there are thousands of people suffering. Now, I’m not totally pessimistic about my inability to help. There is a God, and He listens to, and answers prayers, in His time. And so, I can pray. But not being able to physically do something just tears me up inside and I’m left with that weird feeling…a mixture of guilt and relief. Relief because I know that other people will know better how to save a person’s life and bring aid. Relief because I know that my friends and family are safe. Relief mixed with guilt, or guilt because I feel relief…either way…it’s a heck of a weird feeling.

January 16, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Irrational Fears

This should be an interesting blog post, especially for those of you who know me well. I say this because even for those of you who do know me, I’m willing to bet that you don’t know what my irrational fears are. Before I dish what those fears are I want to differentiate between normal fears, and irrational fears. In my mind, normal fears are fears that are valid. A fear of the dark is a valid fear because humans cannot see in the dark. A fear of dying is a valid fear because it ties in with the idea of the unknown. Irrational fears are those stupid little fears that you have that just don’t make any sense. For example, in my opinion, an irrational fear would be a fear of ceramic flooring. Yes, in some rare instances that cold ceramic flooring might crack under your feet, and your bare foot might be cut by the sharp edges, yet even so, it’s completely irrational.

I have so many irrational fears that I’m not sure that I would be able to count them all. I’m a nervous and jumpy person who’s afraid of literally EVERYTHING. One particular irrational fear that I have, is my fear of sparklers. Yes, those mesmerizing sticks of fireworks that people use (and hold in their hands) at birthday parties. I just don’t like them. They make me nervous. Just recently, my husband and I went out to eat at a restaurant that we’ve only eaten at twice, and giving in to temptation we both ordered dessert. How in the world could I have known that a stick of fiery death would be waiting for me on my cheesecake?! Suddenly, and completely without warning, there are two sparklers exploding away on our tiny table for two. I flinch like crazy when I come into contact with those absurd things, and the waitress noticed. She took it off my cheesecake in a hurry, and sheepishly I had to explain about my completely irrational fear. And then, to make matters more embarrassing, the waitress just stood there holding it until it burnt out, explaining to me that they’re absolutely harmless. Yeah, thanks lady, thanks for making me feel even more idiotic. I feel like a baby because I can’t even hold one, and there she is rubbing it in my face as if it’s the same thing as holding a cotton ball.

A second irrational fear that I have involves jungle cats, yes you heard me right, jungle cats. I love them, every last one of them, and if I ever had a choice of what animal I would want to be, I would chose to be a panther. But in all reality, I am deathly afraid of them. I’m even afraid to go on vacation because of jungle cats. If I go to Mexico and I’m leisurely strolling down a pathway, am I going to be attacked by a jungle cat? Probably not, by my mind can’t help but think of all the freaky possibilities. What if a Tiger came running towards me, how would I defend myself? I tell you, crazy thoughts go through my head when I think about jungle cats.

So, I’ve told you about two of my irrational fears, now it’s your turn! Tell me what your irrational fears are!

January 12, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Absolutely Infuriated

I am becoming increasingly frustrated with how our world runs.

Let me explain, when I say the word “world” I mean the exchange of conversation and products from one person to the next. I cannot rely on the internet, and for sure cannot rely on Canada’s parcel service! At this point I am so frustrated, I’m near tears!

First off, how many times has one person said to another, “Hey did you get my e-mail?” and then getting the response, “uh…no”? I bet it’s happened to you, possibly multiple times. When someone sends me an e-mail there shouldn’t be anything in cyberspace interfering with its destination, and yet there must be something there, for me not to have received my e-mail! As I’m writing this blog I am restraining myself from using caps lock. That is how infuriated I am. When my husband tells me, “Hey check your e-mail”, a fluttery feeling enters my stomach and I begin to blush, because I know that it’s going to be lovey-dovey. Immediately after him telling me such information, I rush to my computer, sign in to hotmail, only to see two e-mails from Viagra, thanks hotmail junk filter, thank you. You can understand my frustration then, knowing that I did not receive his e-mail which he sent sometime in the morning, and it now being the afternoon. I cannot rely on e-mail.

I also cannot rely on the parcel service. You would think that because it’s old fashioned that it would work well, but because deep down I’m a nice person, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…it’s as useless as a cat with no legs. About three years ago, my husband and I were on our honeymoon in the U.S.A. And we just so happened to get pulled over by a cop, after passing through a town smaller than Wheatley, and if you know Wheatley at all, you’ll know not to blink, or you’ll miss it. Anyways, here we are pulled over, we both desperately need to pee, and the cop is taking his sweet old time, and by that I mean, a good hour.   

He gave us a ticket, and informed us that when we get back to Canada we need to plead guilty on this letter and then they (whoever that was) would send us a bill of about $40. I could handle that, it seemed easy, inconvenient, but easy. When we got back home, I filled it out, checked the ‘guilty’ box and mailed it in. I bet you know what happened next. Surprise surprise, they never got our letter. They then assumed that we pledged not guilty, and sent us a bill of $100 due immediately or we wouldn’t be allowed back to the U.S. of A. I was furious, and still am.

I now have another experience under my belt which involves an internet modem being sent to us for no good reason, me sending it back to sender, and lo and behold, them never receiving it. So I get to pay for this non-existent modem, and its shipping, because the company never got it back from me.

I’d like to say send me back to the olden days where messages were delivered by horses, but Romeo and Juliet can attest to that message system not working properly either. Hence my first statement, “I am becoming increasingly frustrated with how our world runs”.

January 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

eheroin

As I was sitting in class yesterday my professor mentioned something about an addiction called eheroin. Has anybody heard anything about it before? Apparently it’s an addiction to the internet, referring to the internet as heroin. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you’ll know that I had to endure through a few long days without the internet, but I really don’t think I am so addicted as to label my addiction as eheroin. Eheroinists’ (not sure if that’s a word) have trouble telling the difference from reality and virtual reality. It seems crazy, but I can honestly understand how an addiction to the internet could get that far out of control, but what I cannot understand is how our society came to that! We now have cyber drugs! It’s just unreal! To get off eheroin apparently people are given anti-depressants. So they’re solving one drug addiction with another drug…seems like it would work…. (sarcasm).

I sometimes visit this blog called Post Secret. People write their secrets on bought or homemade postcards and then send them in to be displayed in Post Secret books, or on the blog. It’s not a horrible website, but sometimes there are some fairly, (and by fairly, I mean ‘really’) inappropriate pictures, so beware. Anyways, I was on this site awhile ago, and somebody had written on a postcard, “I want to throw my dad’s laptop out the window, it’s destroying our family.” I wonder if the internet has much to do with his dad’s problems.

After reading that Post Secret postcard I couldn’t help but wonder how my husband feels when I’m always on the laptop. I’m not always on the internet, I’m in the process of writing a novel, and I do my homework on the laptop, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m always on the laptop. It’s a sad fact of reality now, that people are getting so addicted to their computers and internet that a new word has been made for them, ‘eheroin’.  And with all this new technology coming out that requires the use of the internet, such as the ipod touch, I just know that our future will consist of Wi-Fi everywhere. We’ll never be able to escape the internet, and eheroin will become a part of Webster’s Dictionary.

January 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Motivation

Because it’s the New Year, and people typically make New Year’s resolutions, I’ve been thinking lately about motivation. Without motivation, New Year’s resolutions tend to fail within the first thirty days. So, why is so easy for some to conjure up this confounded ambition, and for others so difficult?

I know of people who just seem to get up in the morning full of motivation. These are the people you see walking or running outside in the cold temperatures, the people who before 8:00 o’clock AM have: eaten breakfast, ran five miles on the treadmill, showered, and scraped off their iced windows on the car. I wake up and wander aimlessly around the house for awhile, thinking about all the things I need to that day that I’ve already been neglecting for weeks before. I wake up and barely take five steps before I’m tired again and seriously consider jumping back in bed for the rest of the day.

What I’ve been wondering, is where do these ‘motivated’ people get their motivation from? Were they fed more spinach and veggies as a kid? Did they drink less pop and eat less sugar? Is there a strand of motivational DNA that only a selected few receive? If I knew what gave people ambition I would do everything in my power to get it, of course my power might not be very motivated, considering I’d be running on non-motivational DNA. I would love to be able to get up early in the morning and do my kickboxing workout, eat a hearty breakfast and in turn have energy the rest of the day, but it just doesn’t seem feasible to me. I need at least 9 hours of sleep each night; whereas I’ve found that most motivated people only need 7 to 8 hours. I don’t have the time to be motivated.

What really irks me is the fact that most motivated people will get what they want out of life. These are the people who will dream big and not stop until they’ve achieved them. They even have an air of confidence around them, a motivated aura, if you will. And then there are people like me, who will struggle each morning just to get out of bed. And then we’ll think of all the things we could have had, but didn’t have the energy, or the motivation to do.

This is why I didn’t even make a New Year’s resolution this year, because without motivation I will fail. And if I don’t make a resolution, I can’t fail.

It’s a sad fact of reality, and unfortunately I didn’t eat a lot of spinach growing up.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments