Susieboldt's Blog

Random Comments from a Dreamer

My Mother…a Robot?

Help! My mom is an Olympic Enthusiast!

I’ve compiled a series of facts that when looked over will surely give you reason to believe as I do. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Fact One: On Thursday, February 25th, my mom posted her facebook status as: “GO CANADA GO!” Let me direct your  attention to the caps lock. My mom’s use of all capitals suggests no sarcasm, only excitement and genuineness.

Fact Two: Last night I was over at my parent’s house and in walks my mom with the groceries. Lo and behold she is holding, not one, but two car Canada flags! These are the flags that you stick in your car windows and drive around town with a bright red target for birds of all manners…you know where I’m getting at. Apparently she didn’t buy them, but was given them as a gift from a person who evidently, found an entire box of them somewhere…possibly stolen goods if you ask me.

Fact Three: During this same awkward moment of watching my mother carry in two Canada flags, she went over to    the kitchen counter turned around and asked my dad this question: “What time is the game tonight?” WHAT TIME IS THE GAME TONIGHT?! I rest my case. Nobody who isn’t really into the Olympics’ asks, “What time is the game tonight?” Nope, this is a case of a bonafide enthusiast. I have never heard such words uttered from such a motherly, feminine mouth, never! For my mother to want to know what time the game starts clearly suggests her desire to watch it.

And so, with all of this evidence piling against my mom, it can be stated that my mother has indeed, turned into an Olympian enthusiast.

I have reason to believe from the above evidence that my mother’s body has been inhabited by a robot, I will be looking for more clues in the near future.

For now however, I’m left with no other choice than to do exactly as I have already, which is, to write a blog about her.

Note* I am still avoiding the Olympics, but I have watched some curling and ice dancing…and didn’t hate it. Also, I am not against this wonderful country of Canada in any way. If people would like to drive around with bird poop riddled Canada flags, be my guest!

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February 27, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

The Worker

I was at the mall today looking for a pair of running shoes, preferably adidas, because they’re comfy. As I’ve blogged about before, my feet are big, size 10 1/2, sometimes 11. So, naturally buying shoes is more than a difficult process for me, especially since most stores only carry up to size 10. Usually I have to resort to the male section of shoes and just deal with the fact that I am forced to be a tom boy and wear unnaturally fitting shoes.

Well, I walked into a certain shoe store today, and I won’t mention its name because I’m still not sure if I want to, and I met a certain naive young male worker. I won’t say he was stupid…just un-knowledgeable about the store he works for. When I walk into a shoe store, the first question I ask before getting my hopes up is: “What is your largest women’s shoe size?” Most of the time the workers answer “10”. This allows me to walk out of the store without even seeing a pair of shoes that I know I will never be able to have. This time as I asked that familiar question I was given a very different answer. This un-knowledgeable male answered that the largest women’s shoe size was a 6 1/2, maybe 7. Yes, he said six and a half. Um…really? My friend was with me as this male spoke such lies, and she wondered why this store would only carry sizes under six and a half, wouldn’t that only serve around 30% of the female population? Yes, yes it would.

I began to wonder if this worker knew anything at all. I had such a strong impulse to start asking him random questions, such as what’s 9 X 9? Or what’s 1 + 1? But, instead I slowly began to walk out of the store. A couple of minutes later (as I was still in the store looking at the male shoes) the worker came up to me again and changed his story. He now said that the women’s sizes went up to 10…o…k… I knew he had only answered six and a half because he didn’t actually know the real answer…I knew it! Had he thought that all females were tiny and small footed? Regardless though, If I were the manager I would make sure that all my workers would know simple answers to simple questions like mine before they decide to make fools of themselves…or perhaps I would have never hired him at all…

February 21, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Toilets 101

I don’t think that the word ‘hate’ is strong enough to describe the feelings I have towards using other people’s toilets. You see, every toilet has a “personality”… and you never know what kind of personality type you’re going to get stuck with. Here are a few “personalities” I’ve encountered before:

The Temperamental Toilet

These are the toilets that don’t know how they feel that day; the toilets that can take forever to flush. Some days, you only need to hold the handle in for a couple of seconds, other days you need to hold the handle in for five to ten seconds. Regardless, this can become infuriating if you don’t hold the handle in long enough and it does one of those half-flushes, and then you need to try again, but first you have to wait for it to be done flushing! I wish these types of toilets came with signs: “Flush me for five seconds…and I’ll let you know if I’m in the right mood to follow through…”

The Spiteful Toilet

Oh, I bet you know a whole lot about this type! These are the toilets that don’t want to do their job. Their sick and tired of being who they are and they don’t care who knows it. It doesn’t matter how many times you flush, it’s just not enough. I’ve encountered a few spiteful toilets in my day, and let me tell you…it’s thoroughly embarrassing. Say I’m at someone’s house where every time the toilet is flushed, they can hear the water gushing through the pipes (this is my parent’s house). Now, every time the toilet is flushed, everybody knows. And so naturally, everybody is mentally counting how many times the water has gushed through the pipes. Embarrassing……

The South-Pole Toilet

In the movie “Elf”, angry elves are regarded as “South-Pole Elves”. Well I’ve come to know a few south-pole toilets. These are the toilets you find at the mall or some higher-end restaurants. When they flush, it’s the equivalent of a hurricane happening. They flush so loud and with so much force that your ear drums actually pop! I’ve encountered a few of these angry toilets in my day, and usually because I’m not expecting it, when the toilet flushes I back up against the door as much as possible to avoid any tidal waves or tornados.

The Persistent Toilet

This toilet has something to prove. It loves its job a little too much, and just never wants to stop. It’s this type of toilet that racks up your water bill because the water is still running. The only way to stop it is to open up its tank and mess around with the chain…yes I’ve had first hand encounters with this type. It can become horribly frustrating when you’re trying to sleep and then someone uses the toilet only to walk away after flushing and not realizing or caring about the running water noise.

Ol’ Reliable Toilet

I don’t even need to explain further, do I? We all know a toilet like this. Maybe you even have one of these rare toilets at home. These are the toilets that just always work. You never need to worry about it malfunctioning, because it’s reliable. You never need to worry about having to get out the plunger when guests come over; nope never. It’s a rare piece of equipment, and if you own one, count yourself lucky.

Yes, I know it’s a little un-conventional to blog about toilets, but whatever, get over it.

What personality does your toilet have? Or did I scare you away from my blog forever?

February 19, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Family Feud

I was watching the show “Family Feud” the other day, and I was mystified at some of the answers given.

If you don’t know the gist of the show, I’ll fill you in. Family Feud is a game show that puts two families against each other with the purpose of naming the most popular responses (taken from 100 people from a survey) to a simple question. Sometimes the questions resemble this: “Name something you do at school”, and other times they are much harder, like “What is something that is considered ‘steamy’”.

Well anyways, I was watching this show and I almost cried through laughing so hard at some of these people’s answers. And it wasn’t so much their answers, but their facial expressions when they were told that their answers were not on the board.

One of the questions that the TV show host asked was, “What animal has big ears?” Would you believe that the first answer given was a giraffe?! Yeah, this man actually answered that a giraffe has big ears! Uh…have you ever even seen a giraffe? Giraffes have tiny ears! Here’s a picture, just in case you’re wondering what a giraffe’s ears look like:

The woman after him answered ‘elephant’. Now there’s an answer!

Another question asked was, “What is something that you would lend a friend over a weekend?” One of the first answers was ridiculous! This is what a man said, “Kitchen utensils”. Kitchen utensils!? Are you kidding me? Who lends out kitchen utensils for a weekend? What really got me was how everyone in his family was screaming “Good answer, good answer!” I beg to differ, that was really not a good answer. After this man was told that his answer was not on the board he looked completely bewildered, and kind of angry.

I just can’t believe how stupid some of these answers can be! Personally, I don’t think I could do any better considering that I’m horrible at answering questions under pressure, but it certainly is fun laughing at these people’s answers!

February 17, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Doubt

I have many, many visions for my life. I believe that I could be many things in life: teacher, author, mother, interior decorator, greeting card writer, graphic designer, publisher, magazine director, and many more. The only problem with these options is the fact that when I actually begin to put my mind to one, doubt sets in. I start to feel as if I am inadequate, not quite right for the job.

There are even times when I feel as though there are certain things that I am destined to do. Only, just like every other option I feel that I can accomplish, as soon as I begin to contemplate this thing that I am destined to do, my motivation drops, and I feel too much doubt to continue.

I had this idea to write a 6-week devotional/small group book for married women. Not on the topic of marriage, but focusing on the married woman as an individual. You see, I strongly believe that when a person gets married, their identity does not get thrown into the trash, or melded in with their spouses. Each partner still has their own identity. In my book (which is only conceived in my mind) I want to express the importance of keeping this identify strong, and using it to further your relationship with our Maker, and with our friends.

But as soon as I plotted out what exactly each section would focus on, my motivation dropped so dramatically that I couldn’t believe I had ever thought I could accomplish such a thing. I mean, who am I to write anything on marriage? I’m no marriage expert; I’ve only been married not even 3 years. I’m no Bible expert either, who would take me seriously?

The strength of this doubt and non-motivation was so strong that there would be times when I was sitting on the couch, thinking of all the things that I needed to do, and couldn’t do, that I wouldn’t be able to move. It was as if doubt had literally paralyzed me. I began to think that if I wasn’t adequate enough to fulfill any of my visions, what would be the point of ever moving off the couch? What would be the point of moving from one spot to another, only to still be paralyzed by doubt?

I wonder if I should create myself a greeting card that says, “You can do it!”, or “Go for the Gold!”

February 13, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Valentine’s Day

I am writing this blog about Valentine’s Day because I just finished reading a blog post from Kathleen Quiring’s blog “Project M”.  why-i-dislike-valentines-day

You see, I disagree with my friend in almost every possible way when it comes to Valentine’s Day. And because I haven’t yet read a blog that celebrates Valentine’s Day, I feel that it has become my duty to counteract Kathleen’s blog (in a very friendly blogging manner).

I very much like the idea of Valentine’s Day. I will add in right away though, that I do agree with Kathleen on one of her last points made, that the commercialism of it has gotten out of control. Just the same as I don’t like the over-commercialization of anything. So with Kathleen’s idea of commercialization, I agree.

I believe that romantic love is the strongest love known to mankind. I have even heard from many people that Christ wants us to love Him with a romantic love, one that longs and aches for the three words, “I love you”, and puts butterflies in our stomachs. I think that romantic love makes the world go round. Like Kathleen said in her blog, almost all of our movies, music, and TV shows revolve around the idea of romantic love. But isn’t the romantic aspect of these creative outlets why people continually come back for more? When I watch a chick-flick (mind you, a well-done, not cheesy chick-flick) I feel good, happy, and inspired to love deeply. But, my romance meter is not satisfied by that one chick-flick, because love is not something that can be measured on a meter. There are many levels of romantic love, and movies most of all, do a great job in tapping into those different levels. Romance, of course, can be overdone in the media, I’m sure we’ve all seen something to that degree, for instance the show “House”, how many seasons has it been, and House still hasn’t told Cuddy that he loves her? But, there are still displays of romantic love in the media that make me feel as though this is what it’s all about.

I love and cherish my husband above all except Christ, but in all truth…he is just not a romantic man. And that is not meant to be an insult, that is just the truth. There are few men out there that are very romantic. Valentine’s Day gives all those un-romantic men in the world a chance to say “I love you” and make their wives feel extra special. On any other day, this type of romance is hard to find. Of course, I don’t believe that all these men need to rush out to their nearest Wal-Mart to buy heart-shaped candies, chocolates and teddy bears. Romance can be shown though a candlelight dinner, a hand written note, and simple gestures of appreciation. Valentine’s Day does need to consist of buying things. By all means, don’t buy things, romantic love is far beyond buying stuff for each other. But, none-the-less I am thankful for Valentine’s Day because it acts as an outlet for showing how much each person loves each other. Notice how I said that, ‘each person’. I just need to add in here, that Valentine’s Day is not only about the man showing his love towards the woman, but the woman actively showing her love towards him.

February 10, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

The Olympics

My husband and I were watching the television show Lost tonight, and I became increasingly annoyed over its commercials. Maybe you watched Lost tonight as well, and so you’ll know which commercials were repeated over and over again: the Olympics.

Now, if you know me, you’ll know I can’t stand the Olympics. It’s not that I’m not in support of the Olympics. I’m in support of the athletes because they have talent, and they should be able to use their talent. I’m just incredibly sick and tired of watching the hundreds of commercials that are replayed every five seconds. Do the Olympics really need that much airtime? If their, (being the marketing team of the Olympics) goal was to make more fans of the Olympics, I’m pretty sure they failed. It’s just plain annoying. The commercials annoy me not only because of their multitude, but because of their epic-ness, (yes I know that ‘epic-ness’ is not a word). Every one of those commercials tries to inspire the watcher, and I’m sorry, but I cannot possibly be inspired by a woman skating who once got a gold medal…it’s a medal. I’m also not inspired by our Canadian hockey team winning. The epic music in the background and children wearing Olympic gear and twirling in the snow does not inspire me! Does this make me heartless or insensitive? Or am I on the same page as you?

In fact, I’ve decided to boycott the Olympics. I won’t buy their branded glassware. I won’t buy their excel gum with the Olympic rings stamped on them. I won’t support the Olympics because I’d rather spend my money on things that matter, such as Haiti. But like I said, I’m not saying that I don’t agree with the Olympics. I’m all for people using their talents. I just don’t think we need to be reminded of the Olympics so often, and do we really need to dish out our money to make the games happen? Doesn’t our government help out with that?

I’d include a commercial of the Olympics for you to watch; only I think that would be a tad hypocritical considering that that would be supporting the Olympics. Of course, even if I did include one of their commercials it’s not like you haven’t seen them before, unless you don’t watch TV.

February 9, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

A Sleepless Night

This past weekend I attended a youth winter retreat as a youth leader. In case you don’t know standard protocol for what goes down at a winter retreat, let me fill you in. First of all, it’s a weekend of fun and business, not relaxation. There’s usually sledding, in this case there was. There are usually a few messages or sessions focusing on the topic of the weekend, in this case, embracing your uniqueness. And, of course, there are almost always sleepless nights.

Now, I can’t complain too much considering that my second night was fine. I actually managed to get 6 to 7 hours of sleep. But my first night…now that’s another story entirely. I had 9 other girls in my room, some of them youth, some of them leaders, and we all slept on bunk type beds. I got the top bunk. Our room was scorching hot, and my bed in particular, smelled of stinky feet. Apparently, not anyone else’s, just mine. The walls were paper thin, and the room next to us could care less about sleep. These girls next to us were laughing so loud, I’m surprised nobody lost their voices, or ruptured a blood vessel. They were talking very loud, and because I have super-sonic eardrums, I could hear every word. At one point they were debating what time to set their alarm, this conversation to my delight, lasted over twenty minutes. I had tried to fall asleep already at 11:30, and it was now at least 2 in the morning. So I decided that their noisiness must be put to an end. So I banged on the wall, 6 or 7, or 20 times. You would think that that would shut them up…but no, they only laughed harder.

Eventually, I feel asleep, but not for long. I kept tossing and turning because of how hot it was in that room, and my nostrils kept smelling wafts of stinky feet. Not to mention having dream-like feelings of girls entering my room at all hours of the night using our shower. It wasn’t all hours of the night, just early morning I was told. Yes, people showered in our room because the 4 rooms to the other side of us couldn’t use theirs…or their toilet. I won’t mention a certain ladies’ product being the cause of the pipe’s malfunctions…

All in all though, it was only one night that I was sleepless. The last night that I was there went really well. We got smart and learned how to turn the heat down. The girls next door, who we figured out were actually volunteer staff members, decided that it would be fun and un-expected to actually sleep for a night, and although my bed still smelled of stinky feet, it was tolerable. Overall, I had a blast at the winter retreat, and many memories safely stored within my head.

February 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

It’s Over…Move on.

Christmas is over, and yet I think that it still exists within my husband’s heart.

You see, my husband gets really into Christmas. I think he loves it more than me. That’s okay with me considering that Christmas is a holiday that belongs to Jesus, and Jesus is supposed to be our first love, right? So, I’m okay with it. My husband even has the habit of waking up, even if it’s months before December, and asking in his sleepy voice, “Is it Christmas?” And, me being the patient wife I am, will say, “No! Not even close. So stop asking me!”  

I just think it’s funny that some people are having a difficult time letting the Christmas season go. I’m not talking about letting go of the meaning of Christmas, no, that should stay all year round. What I am referring to are the lights, presents, and happy feelings.

We were driving to Wal-Mart one evening and we passed by a house that still had their Christmas lights on. I hadn’t even noticed. It didn’t even strike me as odd, yet my husband, who’s having a difficult time letting go, screamed out,

“GET OVER IT!”

At first I thought he was yelling at me, and a shocked expression ran over my face, but then I noticed that he was looking at the house with the lights. It didn’t take me long to make the connection. He was yelling at the owners of the house to get over Christmas, it’s over, done with, O.V.E.R.

Of course, his yelling at the house tells me that he clearly isn’t over Christmas. I hadn’t even thought twice about the lights being there. If anything, I would have just thought the owners were being lazy and the lights were on a timer. But, my husband noticing them and then responding to them in such a heated manner suggests that he realizes it’s time to move on, and so everyone else must too. And if other people aren’t letting go, then neither does he have to.

That’s just my theory anyway. And considering that my husband would celebrate Christmas all year long if it were acceptable, I think my theory is pretty sound.

February 1, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment