My Sweet Elixer Called Sugar

I’m addicted to sugar, and am currently crashing.

You see, I’m trying this new thing where I cut back on my daily sugar intake. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. Actually that’s a lie; I knew it would be incredibly hard.

My main problem is Pepsi. Pepsi is invigorating, fizzy, refreshing, and absolutely sugar-filled. I heard that if a person consumes too much sugar their life expectancy lowers by at least a decade. I have no idea if this is true; I figure it must be true since sugar is so bad for you.

Apparently a single Pepsi can has ten teaspoons of sugar in it! Ten! I googled this and found out that Pepsi uses high fructose corn syrup instead of sugar in their drink. I guess this corn syrup equals 41 grams of sugar.

So this is pretty much what I’m drinking every time I drink a Pepsi…

Yummm. Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating. But think about it, 41 grams….that’s a lot of sugar!

Some people drink a soda every day. I couldn’t even imagine the sugar crashes they must go through. Imagine if these people ever tried to stop drinking sugar, I mean, soda. Bad things would happen. The sugar crashers might go crazy and rob convenience stores. Of course the store owners wouldn’t have to worry considering the sugar crashers would bypass the money and head straight for the snickers bars.

When I’m crashing I’m reminded of zombies. I feel shaky, moody, and very weak. I walk around thinking only of sugar and how I can get my hands on sugar, and that’s only a small sugar crash. I start to wonder ridiculous questions, like: if I baked a cake now, when would I be able to eat it? Or: How bad would I be if I scratched the whole cake idea and ate directly from the chocolate icing container? Yes, it’s true. I have eaten directly from chocolate icing containers…multiple times.

I call Pepsi my sweet elixir of death. Because with 41 grams of sugar, it really is like drinking to an early grave. This is why I’ve decided to consume less sugar. I say “less” because there’s no way I could stop consuming sugar altogether. That would be impossible. Anybody who tries this and succeeds is not human, they are robots, and they should not be eating food anyways.

I will admit though, that I am a weak willed person. Sugar is a must in my life, only if I don’t stop consuming as much as I have been, I might go to an early grave. Will this stop me from ever drinking Pepsi again?

Nope, it probably won’t. Pepsi’s good and I’m addicted.