Susieboldt's Blog

Random Comments from a Dreamer

Sometimes it Sucks Being a Woman

There are moments in my life when I detest being female.

My husband and I have ventured into a complete kitchen overhaul; one that includes re-painting, replacing the floor and counter top, and adding trim to our cupboards. To be completely honest with you, this project involves more of me and less of my husband. Frankly he doesn’t have the time or interest in involving himself with this project.

Because I am the one tackling this project, I figured I could save money in doing a few things by myself…how naive of me.

I have this image of myself. In this image, not only am I a competent woman who can do anything I put my mind to, but I am also completely capable of successfully using a saw and cutting wood. Turns out, this image of me and me actually, are two very different beings.

The actual me cannot cut wood. I cannot do anything I set my mind to like I thought I could, and I am not competent. Now, before I go any further, let me clear something up. I have a notorious tract record for being negative, but this post is not negative, it is realist. There is a major difference, and if you do not know the difference, you should probably exit out of this post and get out your dictionary.

I started this project in which I line my kitchen cupboards with trim. First, I begged my Dad for a lesson on how to use a Miter Saw; second, I borrowed that Miter Saw; and third, I set up that Miter Saw in my garage. I then proceeded to buy the trim, stuff the trim into my vehicle, and set the trim up next to the saw. I calculated my measurements and measured my first piece of trim. I was now ready.

I put my safety glasses on, placed the trim under the blade, and got ready to push the button. It was then when I realized that my saw was not angled properly for the type of cut I wanted. I didn’t panic because my Dad had showed me to re-position the saw. All I had to do was insert a dohicky into its proper dohicky spot and then loosen the saw’s base. Once loosened, I could slide the saw over and cut my trim properly.

So I placed the dohicky into its hole and turned. Only, nothing happened. The dohicky did not move and I began to question why it had looked so easy when my Dad did it. I tried again, and again, and again. I just wasn’t strong enough. After five minutes of yelling, occasionally kicking, and mentally cursing, I gave up. It wasn’t going to happen. I even attempted to use a vice grip and a hammer. The only thing that was going to work was the hand of a man. I needed strength.

I was now unable to use the saw all day, even though I had set aside that entire afternoon to cut trim. Instead of successfully using the Miter Saw, I walked inside -completely defeated, and plopped myself onto the couch. My sadness over having useless weak female hands made me fall asleep and I took a three hour nap. That’s what defeat does to you; it makes you take pity naps.

After my husband came home from work, he successfully turned the little dohicky in its little hole, and re-positioned the saw. I was feeling a little better about myself after this, because it took my husband a few tries to turn it.

The next day I was feeling capable and ready to start this project, now that the saw had been loosened. I headed out into the garage, positioned my trim, put on my safety glasses, and proceeded to push the on button. Nothing happened. No spinning of the blade or defeating saw noises, nope, nothing. I checked the cord and outlet, everything worked. I couldn’t wrap my head around this. The saw worked when my Dad tried it. But not for me. Hmm….

I’ve come to the conclusion that the saw hates me, and hates the fact that a woman is attempting to use it. If I was a male, I’d have stronger hands and be able to turn the saw. If I was a male, the saw would turn on for me, probably without me having to push any buttons. Saws just know.

Now, after the image of competent me has been stabbed and murdered, I can only dream about being as confident as the woman in the above picture.

I blame my failure on my womanhood.

But let me assure you, there is a silver lining to this dismal cloud. There was one way in which I succeeded. Because I am a woman, I managed to not pick up that saw and throw it to the ground; like I envisioned myself doing a thousand times. Amazingly, it’s still alive and in one piece. Women have an uncanny level of control.

Picture from: http://www.diy-site.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/womens-tools.jpg

September 13, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments